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April 22nd, 2008

April 5th, 2008
three months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and i am freeeeeee

November 23rd, 2007
I keep pushing people away,
and friends continue to leave me.
Or I leave them.
The only people I really, honestly trust are Craig, Jamie...I guess that's all. Those are the only people that continue to be with me and that I can find the strength to stay in touch with.
New friends are coming into my life but because of what happened before, I'm never going to be able to trust them and think of them as actual TRUE friends.
Nobody has a best friend. I've found that it's just not possible. Eventually everybody in your life will leave you, or you'll leave them, and if you're lucky by that time you've found your soulmate.

Thanks life.
1 comment|CMNT

November 14th, 2007
If anyone still goes to the movies, don't see Gone Baby Gone.
It is horrible and depressing.

September 26th, 2007
okkk so I lied. I'm not deleting this.
I have a facebook now so if you're not already my friend you should be!

September 7th, 2007
I think I'm going to delete this soon. Broadcasting my life for the world to see doesn't seem so appealing anymore.

oh well, whatever, nevermind [Saturday
August 18th, 2007
[ mood | tired ]

I wish I could go to sleep for a long time and wake up when everything decides to stop sucking. Or maybe when I stop sucking.

Another summer recap [Saturday
July 28th, 2007
So far I've been

-sexually assaulted
-getting nasty men arrested
-high most of the time
-too thin
-excited for utsa
-in two more accidents(that were not my fault)
-fixing life
-reeeeeal good

How has your summer been?

do it do it do it [Friday
July 20th, 2007
Everyone needs to get high and watch Dark Side of the Rainbow on youtube.

June 14th, 2007
Lately I've felt like such a bad friend.

I'm sorry if I've made you sad.

April 22nd, 2007
[ mood | excited ]

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

I'm going to see the shins todayyyy! anyone else going?


So we just skirt the hallway signs, a phantom and a fly [Wednesday
April 4th, 2007
[ mood | aggravated ]

Why is it that most of the time only sad things make the news? Is that really all people want to read? Do they not have enough sadness in their own life that they have to learn about someone else's?

This college business is not going smoothly at all. Hannah and I want to go to UTSA only for the first year and live with her hilarious austrian grandma. No curfew, no parentals, no nasty nasty tiny gross fucking dorms, and a really nice house for three people. Can anyone even imagine how ridiculously awesome that would be? NO, it seems, especially not our parents. My parents want to keep me in Austin so they can keep drug testing me, and have me home by curfew, and know that I'm perfectly safe and not heading in the direction that my aunts and uncle did because after all Brianna, 18 is not some magic age. Really? Seriously? No, no. No way, absolutely not. I can't believe that they think they can tell me what colleges I can and can't go to, where I can live, and who I can see, all because of a plant? Well no, lies too. Oh and the accident that killed the favorite car. Also don't forget the stupid boys that we actually wasted months of our lives with, and who still think we actually like them. Yes, yes, I know, lets bring up things of the past because no matter how sorry I am, or how awful I feel about the consequences of my actions, it's never enough. So it all comes down to two options: go to the college I want to go to, live the life I want to, be completely broke due to the fact that I will have no financial support for ANYTHING and ruin my relationship with my parents, OR I could choose to roll over and let my parents pick out my life for me and make it nice and smart and boring. Why can't they just be happy? Oh yeah, because I lie and smoke and I'm a bad daughter. But it's alright! As long as my tests come back clean, my therapy for my supposed intimacy/anger/keep-all-the-feelings-inside issues goes well, and as long as I let them pick out the perfect life for me, all will be forgiven. Until I mess up once again, and the nicely repaired wall breaks and all my problems come tumbling out of their mouths at me once again.
It's like a never ending circle of horrible events. When will they learn? When will I learn? It isn't like I wanted to hurt them, no, that wasn't it. I was just doing what pretty much all normal teenagers do; having a good time, relaxing. So what if I can't say important things to people, or talk about my feelings. Does it really matter that I only use boys for one thing? I don't like affection, is that really a big deal? Good goddddd. I was so excited that I was finally getting out of the four year prison-hell they call high school, or Bowie, but now that my future is so undecided and sort of thrown around all over, I just want to stay in one place and not move until the future is clear. But part of me doesn't want to know because I have a feeling I will be losing either my best friend or my parents, which isn't fair at all. I know for sure I'm going to be spending the rest of my life with her, why can't they just deal? Oh right, because they know best, after all.

oh yeah, my mom asked me if hannah and i were having sex?!!!!?!?!??????!!!!!!! akwaarrrrdd.

9 comments|CMNT

summer tiiiiiime, the livins easy [Sunday
March 18th, 2007
[ mood | Not looking forward to school! ]

Spring break was exactly what I needed! Now if only it would last a couple more days, or weeks, then it would be what I will be needing because school is tomorrow! And I can't even imagine walking into Bowie right now.
Spring break was lovely because of:
Sunny days!
NOT working
Just general happiness
Camping at Inks LakeCollapse )

2 comments|CMNT

Shut up, hush your mouth, can't you hear you talk too loud [Thursday
March 15th, 2007
[ mood | satisfied ]

Despite all the suffering and ignorance in this world, sometimes I really love living in it.
today, 2 months ago...Collapse )


February 28th, 2007
I can't believe that most of my friends are so stupid and naive! Maybe that is why the friendships are dying.
1 comment|CMNT

February 23rd, 2007
[ mood | die ]

One of my best friends isn't talking to me. She doesn't want to resolve the issues, she just wants to not talk to me until she gets over it so we can magically become friends again. She won't even tell me whats bothering her! I have an idea of what the things could be, but they're petty and things that SHE could fix too.
We have a new kitten but I just can't seem to like it or get attached to it.
I broke my veganism yesterday and now I feel horrible. Even though it was only a piece of pizza. I just couldn't help it.
Most of my friendships I made at the beginning of high school are dying. I hardly see any of the people I used to, and no one seems to be trying to make plans except me and I hate it.
School needs to be over now. Just the thought of going to school makes me sick.
To me, boys are obnoxious and I don't want relationships with them. I'm not suttle about these feelings but they're stupid and they don't get it! I just wish they would leave me alone.
Babies are gross.

girl [Sunday
February 11th, 2007
oh no he di'int

February 10th, 2007
my friends are starting to act like 45 year olds.

February 8th, 2007
i just got my first bumper sticker! it says, "Plants and animals are disappearing to make room for your FAT ASS." ha i love it!

soyyyyydreams [Wednesday
February 7th, 2007
[ mood | jubilant ]

i had like seven soy chais today. GOD they are so good. i want another one. and another. st. eds called me and told me that my SAT scores are high enough to get into their school. i was so excited. but i don't want to go there yet. today i had a vegan cheese and tofurkey sandwhich. so delicious. i have 25 sub albums on photobucket.
these are things i love
Read more...Collapse )

1 comment|CMNT

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